The Funnies
|
Borrowed, with a little editing from American comedian, Rodney Dangerfield:
My family was so poor that if I hadn’t been born a boy, I wouldn’t have had anything to play with.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
A guy from Gaydar phoned me and said, ‘Come on over. There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home!
My bf likes to talk on the phone during sex…he called me from Chiang Mai last night.
I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Last night my bf met me at the front door. He was wearing a sexy pair of pajamas. The only trouble was…he was coming home.
THE YEAR’S BEST HEADLINES OF 2007:
(Yes, they were really printed as seen here.)
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really?
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-sos!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren’t they fat enough?!
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
And the winner is…
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?