He’s Sixteen, and He’s…Jail Bait

Apparently, many tourists believe that they can come to Thailand and other Southeast Asian countries and have dalliances with underage boys and girls, without consequences. In the past, there was, perhaps, some truth to this idea. However, there now seems to be a major crackdown on this kind of behavior as evidenced by the constant raids that are taking place in various tourist centers throughout Thailand. Bars that employ underage staff put their patrons at great risk, and, when caught, the bar often escapes with a “slap on the wrist,” a fine, or temporary suspension of its license, while the customer is arrested and faces a long prison sentence, or, at the very least, must spend a fortune to fight the charges. To make matters worse, a person accused of having sex with an underage boy or girl may often face charges in his home country, as well.

Thai law regarding age of sexual contact can be confusing. Although the age of consent is fifteen, there are notable exceptions, including the prohibition of any sexual contact with a prostitute under eighteen years old. (Any compensation including money, gifts, even meals can be seen as payment and therefore defining prostitution.) In addition, the parents of a minor can file charges, even if the act was consensual. Basically, the authorities will prosecute any sexual contact with a minor who is under eighteen. Thus, the “unfettered” age of consent is eighteen, and there are no circumstances that make it OK to have sex with a person who is under the age of eighteen. It cannot be overemphasized that if you engage in a sexual relationship with such a person, you are putting yourself at great risk. SPICE! strongly advises: Don’t do it.

Society certainly sends out mixed signals on this subject. Countless examples in western culture tout the appeal of having affairs with young women who haven’t yet reached the magical age of eighteen (think Lolita). In some countries, including various states in the USA, the legal age for marriage is significantly less then eighteen. Popular culture often heralds the romance and sexual desirability of underage youth; and throughout the decades, many mainstream singers waxed poetic about their sixteen (and younger)-year-old lovers. Johnny Burnette crooned: You’re sixteen, you’re beautiful and you’re mine. We fell in love the night we met…And, ooh, we kissed and could not stop. Billy Idol sang that he’d do anything for his sweet sixteen.

Jerry Lee Lewis, who married his thirteen-year-old cousin, wailed about Sweet Little Sixteen (as did, later, the Beatles). (She’s got the grown up blues; tight dresses and lipstick). Many books and films have glamorized relationships between older men and young girls.  One of the most famous films, Lolita, starred a fourteen-year-old Sue Lyon. In Manhattan, Woody Allen’s character dated a seventeen-year-old played by Mariel Hemmingway. In addition, we were all enthralled by the saga of his marriage to his much younger, defacto step-daughter.

If we can agree that persons under a certain age are out of bounds, why does popular culture flaunt these types of relationships? Many societies have chosen eighteen as the age of consent. Here, in Thailand, if one has a tryst with a man or woman who is eighteen or over, he will generally be left alone. If he fools around with anyone younger, even by a day, he’s asking for big trouble. Even if an underage boy is offered up by a bar or other commercial venue, the person foolish enough to give in to the temptation is not exonerated. The bottom line is to always check your new friend’s ID to make sure he’s over eighteen. As the Thai calendar is 543 years ahead of ours, you can subtract 543 from the year of his birth to determine the western year he was born. (For example, if he was born in the Buddhist year 2533, he was born in 1990 on the western calendar.

That means he would turn eighteen in 2008. You still need to know the month and date that he was born on. Or, just stick to guys born after 2532 to play it safe.) By all means, don’t rely on his word or even the word of the mamasan. Incidentally, many Thais consider themselves a year older after the new year, so they’re not necessarily lying if they say they’re over eighteen. Some hotels, such as the Tarntawan in Bangkok, check and hold the guy’s ID card. This offers another level of security that the guy is of legal age.

Enjoy the men of Thailand. There’s an endless variety of beautiful guys of all descriptions available to you. However, if you don’t want an unexpected stay at the “Bangkok Hilton,” make sure he is of legal age. You’ve been warned.