Getting Down
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Whether you’re a newbie or a seasoned traveler to Thailand, you’re probably familiar with some common Thai expressions such as mai pen rai (never mind, thank you, and no problem), sawatdeekrup (hello, good-bye) and kop koon krup (thank you). What you may not know is that Thais have some unique and clever expressions for various sexual acts; some of these expressions are quite witt y and nuanced.
A gay man can be referenced in several ways including gee (literally,gay), katoey (ladyboy; transvestite); gay
king (top), gay queen (bott om) or gay kwing (versatile). Gays and
lesbians are, also, sometimes referred to as maai bpa diao-gan (wood of
the same forest). If you hear someone making reference to ham, he’s not
necessarily talking about the accompaniment to your scrambled eggs. Ham
is one of the many terms used to connote the male member. Kaiham,
literally “penis eggs,” refers to one’s testicles. Kuai is a vulgar
term for penis. If
you get intimate, and while perusing your body, your new friend says
ham-san, he’snot mispronouncing “handsome,” he’s commenting on your
organ’s small size. On the other hand, you can take pride if he refers
to it as ham-yai. (Yai means large.) Other references to the male organ
include gluai namm-waa (small banana) and gluai
hawm (large banana). Keng, the Thai word for hard, refers to an erection.
There are scores of expressions to
connote various sexual acts. Bpoo and bpluai mean naked. Chak-waao
(literally, to fl y the kite) refers to male masturbation. Romantics
enjoy kissing or joop. Lia means lick. (Lia nom is licking the nipple.)
If a young man asks you if you like to sa-mok, he’s not referring to
cigarett es. Other ways
of connoting oral sex include om-kuai and om-ham. Lang du yen literally
means to clean the refrigerator. (Refrigerator refers to a part of the
anatomy where the sun doesn’t shine.)
There are lots of ways to describe anal
intercourse. (Of course, any young Thai man is familiar with the word
fuck). Some other, slightly less crude ways to describe the ultimate
sex act are: at-tuadam (to crush black beans); fan dtaap (to have a
sword fi ght); ao-dtuut (take ass) and yet dtuut (literally to fuck in
the ass).
Yet khun will also convey the message. (Yet is a vulgar word, equivalent to fuck.)
Up (make love) is, perhaps, a litt le nicer. Another favorite of mine
is nang tian (sit on the candle); I guess you can fi gure that out.
When your partner moans and says siao, he’s telling you how good it
feels. Set means fi nished, as in are you fi nished yet? (Have you
come?) Under all circumstances, always be prepared with a tuung-yaang
(literally latex sack) or condom; and lube. (Most Thais are familiar
with the words “condom” and “K-Y.”) These may be the most important
terms in your sexual vocabulary. Have fun.
Although most of this article was drawn from my vast experience in this fi eld of endeavor
(or should I say fi eld of dreams?), some of the expressions were taken
from the very informative Thai for Gay Tourists, available at Bookazine
and other book shops.